The Real Side of Postpartum
Hello, my name is Darian Suprun and I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety when my son was only five months old.
I didn’t even know I could be depressed after having a baby. Everything I’ve seen on social media and movies is that it’s such a joy being a parent! But no one shows the nitty gritty ugly side. The real side. Postpartum depression/anxiety is VERY VERY VERY common in all mothers who just gave birth whether it’s their first or 12th.
I didn’t know this until I dug deep down in the mom groups I was in. I had intrusive thoughts; What if I dropped Rowan? What if I was walking down the stairs when I was holding him and I tripped and fell? What if he starts screaming in a restaurant? What will people think of me? Am I a bad parent? Why can’t I just love him? I also didn’t want to get out of bed. I was constantly on my phone and avoiding social situations.
It wasn’t until my 50th time watching the Empire Strikes Back that I sat in my bed and cried because I knew I was depressed. It took about a year a a half to fight it. There’s days where I still feel it rearing it’s ugly head but the tools I’ve learned and the support from friends, families, and other survivors of postpartum depression gives me the strength I need to overcome.
To the new mother reading this. I am here for you. Your family and friends are here for you. If you have these feelings of depression or any doubt, I urge you to reach out and talk to your midwife/doula/OBGYN and be seen. Post partum depression affects everyone differently and no two diagnoses are the same.
For extra resources or if you have no idea where to start I’ve added a link to a site that helped me out immensely.